“Parenting is so f***ing hard” ~ Adele
Excuse the language but it is just so spot on.
Quality time with some special moms and Mother’s Day being a couple weeks away, has sent me down the rabbit hole thinking about and pouring over my thoughts about motherhood. When I first became a mother 12 1/2 years ago, I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. I can honestly say that these past years have been the hardest of my life. My middle school years have nothing on motherhood and that’s saying something. I lost my mom when my first child was 2 and my second was 8 months old. Not that her being here would have made motherhood any easier per se, but I certainly missed out on the support and guidance that I crave daily raising my three. I wish I had her to say “it’s ok, they’ll grow out of this” or “you did this exact thing and you turned out just fine”. Any of these statements would have helped this mama out. This is where my tribe has swept in and helped me beyond measure.
See these woman? Our kids are all different ages, boys and girls, we live in different neighborhoods, go to different schools and have different careers. But we support each other. Differences don’t matter when you have being a mom in common. Though I have lost the most important woman in my life, I’m lucky enough to have different moms from all parts of my life that make up my “tribe”. It’s literally survival mode everyday. One of the definitions of “tribe” is a group of people sharing an occupation, interest or habit. A synonym is “family”. We are all moms, we are all women and we all need people surrounding us that make the hard days better.
Ashley Cash has such a way with words. When she sent this to our group, I believe it stuck a chord because it is so true.
“Just like with motherhood, not all of our opinions and ways of parenting will overlap with our mom friends. Even the closest of friends will have different parenting styles and philosophies. Yet, we’re a tribe. A tribe of mothers who come together, to build a village-like mentality, where we support each other, lift each other up, and lend a helping hand. We’ve all been the trenches in the land of overtired, where dark circles and caffeine rule. And while it might feel like we’re all along on this island – we’re not. We’re united in motherhood. Because motherhood doesn’t discriminate – it overpowers us all, no matter who you are! But when we come together as women and support each other through the tough times of navigating this new world of feeding, diapers, tantrums, attitudes and sleep, we’re stronger. And more importantly, we teach our children the importance of lifting each other up, despite our differences.”
I have been blessed to be surrounded by encouraging friends that have helped not go completely insane over these stressful years. Friends help you through the ups and downs. They are the people you run to daily especially if they have kids around your kid’s ages. You need that reassurance that things are going to be ok and wine… lots of wine. You also need to celebrate the little things, pat yourself on the back, pat your friends on the back and celebrate just celebrate the fact that you all are awesome for making in through another year.
A Mother’s Day brunch is the perfect way to do that! I got together with some of my favorite moms and blogger friends and we had a great time just celebrating each other… the delicious food and drinks, of course. Lindsay at Seven Layer Charlotte set the menu and came up with some amazing dishes that I can’t wait to share with each one of you. The recipes will include Whipped Feta, Rhubarb 75 Cocktail, Lindsay’s Vanilla Berry Cake, Blackberry Cucumber Skewers and so much more . That way you can celebrate the moms in your tribe!
Here’s a fun little Q & A that my friend Chelsea came up with about motherhood. It was fun and also brought up lots of emotions when answering the questions.
1.What has surprised you most about motherhood?
How hard it is. Seriously. I thought that if I was a certain type of mom my kids would listen and conform. HAHA! Boy, was I wrong!
2. How do you juggle everything you have to do on a daily basis?
Lots of grace from my husband, kids and friends. Daily phone calls from my sis and best friends. And coffee.
3. What’s your go-to weeknight meal?
Cauliflower Tacos Bowls for me and Allen and Regular Tacos for the kids. It’s all the same ingredients just basically in a different form.
4. How (or has) your style changed since becoming a mom?
I definitely care less about what people think. I will go to the grocery store in pajamas or sweats and no make-up with hair that hasn’t been washed in 5 days and I really don’t care. When I am dressing up or trying to look presentable I wear whatever I feel like wearing. What ever makes me feel pretty and confident on that particular day.
5. Do you have a momiform? If so, what is it?
I really don’t right now. Everything I wear is my momiform because I’m always doing something with the kids and I could be wearing head to toe athleisure or a beautiful floral maxi and wedges or a graphic tee and cut-offs with my fave sneakers.
6. Tell us your favorite life hack?
Since my boys were little (before Marie K was around) I have always had snack bins that my kids could reach for snacks, cereal bars etc… All their friends knew which cabinet they were in and it was always the first stop for them! We still have them to this day but they are a little more organized since the kids are older.
7. Does your family have any fun weekly traditions?
There is nothing we can keep up with weekly to be honest. But we try to have a movie night or charades at home once a week. In the summer, we head to the pool first thing every Saturday morning. It’s nice basically having it to ourselves for 30 minutes or so. When it’s not summer we’ll head to our favorite local coffee shop for breakfast .
8. What’s your go-to date night?
It’s wherever our favorite food is usually. Mine is Foxcroft Wine, Allen would probably say something different like Oak Steakhouse. If its in the summer, it sounds crazy but I like to have an adult night at the pool. Where we can relax, talk to friends, swim and have some cocktails and not worry where or what the kids are doing.
9. How has your perception and perspective on motherhood changed since becoming a mother yourself?
It has made me a lot LESS judgmental and a lot MORE sympathetic to others. I pretty much wouldn’t judge another for ANYTHING. You never know their story or what they are going through. Also, there are also such genuinely good people surrounding you who you don’t even know. My special needs child was in the middle of a flare while my youngest was in gymnastics. We are talking in the gym, losing his shit. I had no idea what to do in public. Another mother just came over to give me a hug and tell me it’ll get better. One nanny came to chat with me and talk things through. Someone’s grandfather gave my child a dollar just to give me a break for a few minutes. I will never forget that day or those people and I have no idea who they are because I haven’t seen them since. Which is sort of strange since we still go to that gym at the same time. Maybe they were angels which sounds corny but they felt like angels to me.
10. Guilty Pleasure?
Real Housewives + Hot Bath + Early bedtime
Collaborators + bloggers that you must follow because they are truly amazing moms and women!
Event Planning & Styling by Ashley Cash at The Graceful Host
Party Supplies by Ashley at The Graceful Host Shop
Floral Design by Wanda at Spruce & Co
Photographs by Jasmin at JLTPhotography
Gin provided by Doc Porter’s
Thanks for following along with my real and semi-sapping Mother’s Day post! Cheers to you and every single woman in your tribe!
Lindsay Kingdon says
I had tears in my eyes reading this. Love how real and raw this post is. I am the lucky one to be a part of your mom tribe!
The Style Hostess says
Awww- thanks Lindsay! The feeling is absolutely mutual.